The Center to BE goes to Nicaragua!
by Judy Spencer and Mary Wacker

Ten volunteers spent a wonderful and fulfilling ten days in Nicaragua this past January. We were so excited about this opportunity to support the work of a courageous woman who has been transforming a very deserving and poor region. And we couldn't have done it without the Center to BE!

	Meg Boren RN, a nurse who worked in Behavioral Health at Columbia St.-Mary's and is from Grafton, Wisconsin has built a retreat center, Casa Margarita and medical clinic, 45 minutes northwest of Chinendega on the Pacific Ocean. Her outreach programs serve 8 communities reaching about 5000 people in the area of Aposentillo. Our goal was to teach stress management/relaxation and wellness techniques to her Brigadistas (volunteer community health care workers) and Maestras (teachers) working in the small, rural communities served by Meg's clinic.
Through synchronicity, Mary Wacker connected us to Marjorie Wilbur from the Center to BE, and a training program Marge offered focusing on relaxation techniques that had been successfully used in Central America. From that workshop our group ordered teaching manuals on Trauma Healing and Transformation in both English and Spanish from Capacitar International, Inc. We had so much fun sharing these resources with our new friends in Nicaragua.
	We taught: Balancing Emotions with Finger Holds, Chair and Hand Massage, Tai Chi Movements and Visualization Relaxation. It was so gratifying to watch their facial expressions change as well as their posturing, and see them truly relax as the tools were presented. The Bigadistas and Maestras then taught the techniques to guests they invited from their villages. They loved this ability to help others relax and we heard comments like, "We never knew something like this existed." "I like the relaxation that touch offers." "I will try these ideas with my family, children and members of my community." Our group also made a Mandella, a large circle of artistic symbols representing their country and values.
The people we worked were gracious, with open and generous hearts. They were filled with spirit and had wonderful smiles. The majority live in thatched roof homes with hard dirt-packed floors and no running water. Most do not have electricity. Meals are cooked over an open wood fire. Life is very difficult and yet they take such pride in their community, volunteering to make it better for all. It was indeed an honor to offer these techniques to those who found them so useful. When we left, we all shed tears, and hugged each other in appreciation for the gifts we both gave and received, for our budding friendships and in solidarity for the people of Nicaragua.
Our group included: Sharon Biesel RN, Behavioral Health; Maggie Medicus-Bingus, Pharmacist; Cheryl Schuh RN, Administrative Representative, Judy Spencer RN, Outpatient Geriatric Psychiatry; Caryl Zaar Nurse Manager, Behavioral Health (all from Columbia-St. Mary's Hospital), Sister Patricia Dunne D.C.; Ellen Miller, RN, Madison St. Clinic; Sister Marsha Teirney DC, Learning Center; Isabelle Vujadinovic, RN, St. Luke's; and Mary Wacker, Consultant, MB Wacker Associates.

SUE ANN Says…   Take a few moments to just “Be”

As simple as it sounds, one of the best things you can do for your health is to take a few moments to sit quietly and to just breathe. I had an opportunity to experience the positive effects of breath work, along with Tai Chi movement, meditation and simple massage with the help of Marjorie Wilbur, executive director for the Cent To BE, who recently led a workshop for Wisconsin Women’s Health Foundation employees.

Called “Self Healing Practices for Body, Mind, and Spirit,” the workshop introduces individuals to self-care techniques which have their roots in many ancient cultures and are designed to reduce the level of stress, generate a sense of peace, and facilitate healing.

For example, Indonesian Finger Holds are used as a way of clearing your mind in the midst of emotionally charged moments so that you can respond appropriately.  The theory is that through each finger runs a channel or meridian of energy connected with the different organs of the body, and by holding each finger you are able to drain and balance the energy flow. As you hold a finger, usually within a minute or two you will feel an energy pulse or throbbing sensation. This indicates that the energy is flowing and balanced, and usually the strong feeling or emotion has passed.

The underlying principle of simple practices such as these is that by “pausing for station identification,” we are better able to listen to what is going on in our bodies, to see things more clearly and, ultimately, to become better advocates for our health and well-being.

“They are not miracles, but they work,” says Marjorie, whose background includes over 20 years in the healthcare industry. “These simple self-care tools have the ability to give people a sense that I can do something for myself. I don’t always need someone to take care of me. I have inner resources.”

Marjorie does, however, recognize that these practices are not a substitute for medical care. “They can complement work done with a professional or be something you can do on your own to create peace and wellness.”

The Center To BE, an inclusive spirituality center based in Milwaukee, offers a two hour workshop for individuals who are interested in learning self-healing techniques for themselves, as well as an intensive four-day training program for those who are interested in becoming workshop facilitators and practitioners of “healing and transformation.”

Both programs are presented in partnership with Capacitar, Inc., which was established in 1988 by Patricia Cane, Ph.D., to teach self-healing techniques internationally. Dr. Cane first taught simple body-mind-spirit practices to grassroots leaders at a popular education enter in Nicaragua as a way of alleviating the traumatic stress they were suffering because of war, violence, poverty and natural disasters. Both the Capacitar method and program of self-healing practices have been field-tested through research with hundreds of participants in Central America and the United States and have proven to be effective.

Since the Center To BE will not be offering another “Self Healing Practices Workshop” in Milwaukee until February, I asked Marjorie if she had any suggestions for self-care during the stresses of the upcoming holiday season.

Her first recommendation is to make a commitment and a conscious decision to add a little solitude to the day. “We are so over-stimulated, particularly around the holidays. Take a moment just for quiet – turn off the radio in your car, turn off your cell phone, or take a few minutes to begin your day by just pausing and breathing deeply.”

Marjorie also recommends re-evaluating your to-do list, turning “have-to-do’s” into “I choose” and says “We can have a list of things that feel like they are imposed on us, but if we feel like we’ve chosen the items on the list, it won’t feel like a total chore.” Instead of making every single kind of holiday treat, streamline by choosing your favorite.  Keep in mind that gifts are just the gifts, not obligations.

And finally, focus on one task at a time. She recalls a particularly stressful time when she had to learn this lesson herself.  “I once had somebody ask me how many things I could do at a time, and I said – “one.” And his response to me was, “so do just that one thing.” So the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, ask yourself, “what is the next one thing to do?”

Of course, we all know that the stress doesn’t end when the holidays are over.  I hope you’ll start the new year with a strong commitment to being the best advocate you can for your health in mind, body, and spirit. As women, we need to realize that it is only in starting to care for our own health that we can give the best care to others. Never forget – it all begins with a healthy woman!

From my family and staff to yours, I wish you a blessed holiday season.

Friends of The Center to BE were invited to write brief reflections in response to the question:

What is your spiritual experience of receiving through giving?

Here are the thoughtful replies of those who accepted this invitation to share their insights.

Awakening

In the early morning darkness, in that mysterious space between sleep and wakefulness, I become aware of Emma, rising from her scruffy brown blanket, padding lightly to the bedside. No sound, no movement, just the absolute awareness of her presence. My hand lazily slips from the blankets. Emma begins to lick my hand, first gently, little kisses caressing my fingers, then longer, more generous lapping into the palm of my hand. My hand dangles, suspended, receptive. I am now closer to waking than sleeping, to awareness that comes with touch and smell.

With magical motions, she turns her head so that my hand is now on top of her head, seeking the touch, the tickle, the reassurance of response. My fingers trace the outline first of one ear, then the other, the exquisite sensation of flesh on soft, silken fur. Another turn of the head and she has placed my hand under her chin. Now I am giving and she is receiving, the long-awaited, multi-fingered rub at the scruff of the neck that makes our blood flow. I am awake but still have not opened my eyes, the last vestige of sleep. Our day has begun with the sacred consciousness of one another. I lie in the morning darkness with the stark awareness of life.

Momentarily, I push back the blankets. We rise together to greet the day. My uplifted arms mirror Emma's long body stretch. We move into the early morning, mindful of the start of a new day. My spirit calls me to pay attention, to embrace the stillness, to enter the creating and sustaining Mystery of life in which giving and receiving are one continuous cycle. How can I give if I do not receive? How can I live fully if I do not rise daily to a more profound awareness of the needs all around me? How can I be of service to others if I do not first celebrate the gift of life? It begins with each new day......in the mysterious space when darkness turns to light and gratitude turns to action.

Contributed by Nancy Anderson, Brown Deer, WI

“The only thing that comes back to you is what you give away.” This line stayed with me after listening to a story on public radio. The man was talking about learning generosity from his father, a victim of Hurricane Katrina. His father was a great cook who always shared his famous gumbo with both his friends and anyone passing on the street.

Giving isn’t always easy for me; it’s something I have to ponder. I envy people who give their time and money, seemingly without a second thought. But like anything else, generosity becomes easier when I practice.

Simple acts like passing along a book to someone who would enjoy reading it or giving a few dollars to a stranger in need bring a sense of freedom that I didn’t expect. When I hold on too tight to anything, it becomes a burden and complicates my life. The freedom comes when I “unburden” by letting go of my attachment to possessions.

Recently I came across a beautiful hand-dyed blue scarf in my drawer that I had not worn. While it was lovely, it was wrong size for one outfit, or the wrong color for another. The scarf sat on top of my dresser for a few days while I decided how to use it. Then I realized it was not for me to use at all. I thought of a friend going through chemotherapy for breast cancer. She was losing her hair and could make much better use of this scarf.

Now I wonder who could make better use of other things that I currently own. What freedom could come with giving more away? After all, if the man’s father was right, what I need will come back to me.

Contributed by Bonnie Andrews, Milwaukee, WI

Thirty years ago I found myself at an impasse. Working on a doctorate in Literature at Notre Dame, I was close to the finish line (dissertation stage) when I hit "writers' block," calling into question everything academic. I decided to take the summer of 1967 "off" to serve in Appalachia, to experience mountain life, to simply BE. Not to be a grad student, a teacher, a writer, but just to BE.

Somehow, though, I found myself recording an oral history, writing newspaper articles about local organizing groups, potluck suppers and wellness workshops. Phone calls from my graduate school friends and professors would sometimes end with: "Are you making any progress on your dissertation?" To which I would quickly change the subject.

One summer evening at a potluck supper in Big Stone Gap, Tennessee, an elderly woman stopped me and asked: "You're the writer, aren't you?" At that moment the writers' block melted away. I realized that she was right. I said, "Yes," and the rest is history. I returned to my studies in the fall, wrote the dissertation, and have spent the intervening years teaching literature and writing. I didn't stay in Appalachia as I thought I might, but Appalachia stayed with me. That mountain woman gently led me back to my life. She gave me permission to reclaim my gifts. Indeed she was the gift!

In the morning, I often walk to the park near my home on the shore of Lake Michigan. As the sun rises, I settle into God in the rhythm of the waves, so like the breath of the earth. This is the time that I center in Spirit so that I can open my heart for the day's work of busy attention to many tasks and so little time for rest and reflection. As I open my heart in this reassuring breath of God, I open to the many ways in which I can give and to the ways the world gives back to me. Now I wonder who could make better use of other things that I currently own. What freedom could come with giving more away? After all, if the man’s father was right, what I need will come back to me.

Contributed by Mary Beth Duffey, Wauwatosa, WI

My attention to the muscles of my chest as it rises and falls with the waves is my invitation to Spirit to open me. Without this opening I would be separated from God and separated from my path of learning to love the world and all that is in it. I could not experience communion with God with a heart closed to the diversity of experience each day brings. When the opening comes, by grace, I experience the motion of Divine Truth as it enters me fully and enlivens me for the day ahead.

How could I experience the beauty of the people and activities of the day without an open heart? The gift I receive in being able to open my heart to those I meet throughout the day is a depth of experience of Divine Truth in each one of them and in myself. My spiritual joy is in being in the Truth, whether suffering, joy, or the middle road of steady sameness. As I walk in this Truth throughout the day, my cup is replenished with the "the universally available present reality," the Holy All That Is, where I find my strength, and I am grateful.

Contributed by Elizabeth Evans, Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Receiving through Giving……

I got a hug last night. I dropped off a purse that an elderly client had left at the day center. It wasn’t far off my usual route home, so my sacrifice wasn’t really great. The purse was empty – it always was – but for this client, who suffers from dementia, the purse was an anchor. Without it, her daughter said, she becomes agitated and frightened. The daughter was so very thankful that her family could now avert what would otherwise have been a difficult evening and a long night. With very little sacrifice on my part, I was the recipient of a wave of gratitude that will warm my heart for a long time to come. What I did – as small a gesture as it was – mattered.

The lessons learned are many. What seems a small gesture may loom very large in the eyes of the recipient. It is, after all, the recipient who determines the value of the gift received – and it is the wise recipient who knows and understands both the giver’s intentions and the giver’s abilities in valuing the gift. It is the giver who must be open to and recognize the gratitude, who must listen and feel and experience the depth of the thanks, however it is expressed. An empty purse may have worth beyond measure; being warmed by a blanket of gratitude clearly has worth beyond measure.

Contributed by Barbara Moore, Germantown, WI

Overtip – It Makes a Great Day Even Better

This summer my wife, Leanore, and I made a trip to Door County. While driving there Leanore was reading an article in Good Housekeeping Magazine titled “Remedies for Rotten Days.” She found it so enlightening that she read it aloud and we started discussing some of its suggestions.

That evening we went out for dinner. We had a coupon for a buy-one get-one-free dining experience at a nice restaurant. When our bill came, the waitress included a calculation of a suggested tip on the check. I was insulted by this approach. We had received good service and I was planning to leave a reasonable tip based on the total value of the two dinners. As I sat there starting to get a little warm under the collar, I thought of the article we had discussed earlier that afternoon. The second suggestion in

the list of remedies for a rotten day was: “Over tip – A small act of generosity not only brings a spot of pleasure into a hard-working person’s life, it also floods your body with feel-good hormones.”

I decided that despite the fact that I felt insulted I was going to over tip this waitress and so I took her suggested tip and doubled it. I was amazed at how quickly this decision worked its wonder in me. As soon as I made the decision I felt good all over. We were still getting a wonderful dinner for a very reasonable price and I realized that I was providing a surprise and a blessing for a waitress who had provided us with very good service.

I thanked Leanore for sharing the article with me and we both found that this simple act of generosity gave us great pleasure and joy.

Contributed by Alan Rommelfanger, Oshkosh, WI

My experience with receiving through giving is still developing. I can tell you that my experience with organized religion and giving is not very good. I remember as a child hearing my parents debate about how much more they should give. I grew up in a poor farm family in a rather wealthy community. To make matters worse the church published a directory of what every member of our congregation gave over the entire year. Needless to say, during most of the years I grew up we were near the very bottom and I felt embarrassed when the annual "giving" book came out.

After starting college when I came home I would throw a few dollars in the collection plate, instead of filling in the little envelopes with my name and amount like I had used when I was living at home. This would upset my mother because the family wasn't getting credit for my unrecorded anonymous gift. The idea of the privacy of an anonymous gift always appealed to me -- maybe it was because of a movie I saw staring Rock Hudson as a spoiled rich kid who got into all kinds of trouble by misinterpreting the secret of anonymous giving he had just learned from a kindly older gentleman. Eventually, Rock learns that your motivation for giving is as important as not taking credit for it (it took a beautiful and forgiving Loretta Young to make that happen).

I'm not sure how old I was when I saw the movie, and I can't say I've learned its lesson. Giving without expecting something in return has not been very evident in my life. I expect friends to do for me what I have done for them. Return on investment has pretty much been my attitude and guiding principle. The fact that my nephew has M.S. probably influenced me to do some volunteer work for the national M.S. organization, just so I could impress him with my contribution in fighting M.S. Much to my surprise, however, I have not yet told my nephew of my volunteer work, and I just might not tell him ever. Why this change of heart?

It just might have something to do with the fact that I just started volunteering this year as a member of the Board of the Center to BE and the kind of work that is being done by caring and authentic people is inspirational to observe close up. When you think of others first you become aware of receiving a spiritual energy that can enlighten your life.

Contributed by Dave Rupnow, Racine, WI